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You’ve likely heard of that mantra: “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” However, for the modern woman, that can sometimes lead to a casual sex death spiral. “You have good sexual relationships that are good for you, and yet you learn all the things you can do wrong and are expected to ‘fix yourself’ in your mid-thirties,” says Sarah Aronson, a psychologist and author of the book Love and Sex at Any Age. “There’s a feeling of fraudulence or shame around having sex again, even though you’ve really learned a lot from it.”
The irony of dating apps — and this is true even if you use an app that is explicitly focused on finding a hookup — is that you may be meeting your potential partner before knowing whether or not you want to have sex. “If sex is going to be a focus, you get to pick your relationship chemistry in a way that you cannot in the context of casual sex,” explains psychologist Jean Twenge.
Easy casual sex is also sometimes less fun for both parties. “There are lots of people who want to try casual sex out and find that it doesn’t work for them, and also people who want to try casual sex out who find it doesn’t work for them,” says Twenge. Some of that comes down to expectations; though having multiple partners doesn’t usually do anyone any physical harm, it can have lasting and confusing effects.
“You don’t want to be someone who doesn’t think they can have relationships,” says Twenge, who also authors the book The Science of Happily Ever After. “I think that way of thinking may be the old social norms [of monogamy], but it’s not actually good for your mental health or for your heart.” (And many people try casual sex and find they really aren’t into it.)
But even if casual sex is good for you, there can be downsides. Casual sex and hookups are often fueled by financial factors, making it that much more difficult to make sure you’re not having sex with someone who’s using you, emotionally or sexually. By taking time for yourself — and, since we’re living in a touch-free age, meeting that time in a way that isn’t sexual — you can set yourself up for more fulfilling relationships.
10 benefits of casual sex
If you’ve been rocking a serious relationship for a while, it’s entirely normal to want to try casual sex once in a while. But sex, and even more so
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Aside from the obvious mental burden of being your partner’s sexual mule (if you’ve never had sex, just scroll down to the section ‘A casual fling can save you money’), can casual sex be physically bad for you? How about sexually?
The answer to the question is not cut and dry. If you’re having sex for physical pleasure or for another emotional or intellectual reward, it’s not wrong in any way. However, if you’re having sex purely to ‘get laid’, that could be a different story.
When it comes to casual hookups — those encounters where you’re not seeking a relationship or romantic commitment — it’s probably safe to say that casual sex has not only been legitimized in recent years, but veritably been made the social standard. Even though none of us like the label, today’s cultural phenomenon is all about the freedom to pursue and take what you want. So if you’re out here, what more perfect time to cut loose? When it comes to casual sex, there are really only two things that matter:
Cancer is for losers: your best friend has it.
Sleeping in: bonus points.Cancer is for losers: your best friend has it. But in researching why some people do not get cancer and some do, scientists are learning a lot more than they ever expected about this strange disease.
Life expectancy in the U.S. is the third highest in the world and it has been increasing since 1950. (!) But almost half of those extra years are lost to preventable disease, aging-related complications and unhealthy behaviors such as smoking. These preventable deaths are among the reasons why a doctor at the Fox Chase Cancer Center says that we should be careful in our attachment to medical science and technology.
“Modern medicine gives us a lot of diagnostic tools, and a lot of ways to fix things when there’s damage,” says Howard Miller, associate professor of medicine at Fox Chase. “But the fact is we’re hitting old age before our time.”
If you look back on your life, you know when you decided to stop being a couch potato and start living life with more zeal and energy. Your parents’ generation and your grandparents’ generation were definitely couch potatoes. But why didn’t they want to get out of the house and seek out activities that would make their lives more exciting? They were too busy watching TV and surfing the Internet; too tired to get up from their computers.
It’s true that getting up is hard work, and some
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